I have had "blog" on my to-do list daily for a week. I have not completed my to-do list and gotten my "I DID IT" sticker in a week. My mental health has been shaky at best and I don't feel like I belong on my own blog. I feel like if I can't even make my own brain work, then how can I give suggestions to other people. I am currently tricking myself into writing because no one reads this blog yet anyways, so it's just fine.
Impostor Syndrome:
the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.
This week I have been feeling this big time. I am a project coordinator for a construction company and I am good at my job. Logically I know this. I have the data points to show my success and the feedback from my peers and bosses to back that data. But, I feel like I don't belong. I feel like one of these days they will see though my facade and realize that I actually suck at my job and they made a terrible mistake in hiring me.
I feel like this in my relationships right now, too. I'm not very good at cooking, I have the ability to keep house but I hate it so I do a sub-par job. I make quite a bit less money than my partner so obviously I'm not contributing enough. I feel like my parenting skills are lacking and I'm probably going to break my kid. Again, logically I have the data points to refute these claims, but I can't seem to get past this.
I don't have any advice. I can't tell you or myself how to feel better. I can tell you that I am making lists of the things that I know to be true so that I can go back and read them. It seems to be helping at least a little bit.
s.m.
No comments:
Post a Comment